The Passage of Time and Seeing the Impossible Become Reality - by Teresa Scharf
The passage of time – one of many things in life that we cannot control but are forced to live within the boundaries of. Isn’t it interesting how our view of time changes, depending upon which side of the timeline we are standing? Think of younger days when we couldn’t wait for our next birthday, to be a year older. But when we’re older, we marvel about how fast time has flown by and we wish we were younger. Even as adults, when we look forward to future events, it seems like such a long time to have to wait – like that next trip to Greece, or the birth of a grandchild, or a reunion with family and friends, or finally paying off the mortgage.
Teresa Scharf meets her sister, Angie, for the first time at Eleftherios Venizelos Airport in Athens - photo by Linda Carol Trotter
But hindsight gives a different viewpoint, doesn’t it?
Three years ago, a good friend sent a link to me of an article in The Greek Reporter. It was an interview featuring Linda Carrol Forrest Trotter about The Eftychia Project. Intrigued, I sent an e-mail to Linda Carol but had no expectations. After all, I was 62 years old at the time and figured there was no way that anyone would be able to find someone related to me – and even if there were discoverable relatives, it would take years and years to find them, and if they were still alive, they would be too old (and so would I). I just wasn’t convinced that this was a worthwhile endeavor.
And I didn’t help the process, because from the beginning, Eftychia and other members of the Board encouraged me to submit my DNA for testing. I resisted for months. Finally, almost a year later, I did complete DNA. That was in January 2022.
Now on the other side of the timeline, I have a different viewpoint. It seems to have taken a short length of time, not impossible, and not forever.
One month after sending in my DNA sample, I learned that I had a first cousin! It took some time to find him, but with the continued help and support of The Eftychia Project, I spoke with him over the phone, and a few months later, I had the opportunity to meet him and his family. I learned that I am one of twelve first cousins!
Peter was the first biological relative I had ever met. It was so amazing to interact with someone whom I didn’t know and until recently, didn’t know that I even existed. In my limited exposure of being around other Greek people, and knowing my own self, I know that Greeks love to talk and are seldom at a loss for words. So, striking up a conversation wasn’t hard. But with Peter and his family, it wasn’t awkward, either. They all welcomed me and treated me like family. It is hard to describe what that felt like, except to say it was truly wonderful. I fell in love with them, and began to feel, for the first time in my life, a sense of belonging.
Peter contacted other cousins in Greece, so after I traveled there in October 2023 to attend The Eftychia Project’s 2nd Annual Greek Adoptees Reunion, I was invited to go to the village where my grandparents had lived and raised their children – among them, I later understood, my father. Several cousins and their families still live in that village, and I met seven of them! That was incredible. They each treated me like their long-lost cousin, and it was so affirming to be well received and accepted. My sense of belonging that I first experienced with Peter and his family was affirmed and reinforced. And similarly, I immediately fell in love with all of them. Since returning to the U.S., I have spoken with at least one cousin almost every weekend. Just yesterday one of them told me how much everyone there loves me and how happy they are that I am part of their family. This provides so much value to my self-worth!
There are three of the twelve cousins who I have yet to meet. One of them, however, with the help of The Eftychia Project, submitted her DNA sample a couple months after I was there, and in January 2024, the results revealed that she is not my cousin. She is my [half] sister!!!
Teresa and Angie take a selfie at the Athens Aiorport, where they met for the first time in March 2023 - photo by Linda Carol Trotter
Immediately I made plans to return to Greece, and on March 17, 2024, for the first time in our lives, my sister, Angie, and I met when I arrived at the airport in Athens! How can I describe that? It was just so sweet!!! We spent ten days together. I learned about our father, we shared with each other about our lives, and a bond formed that is so incredibly special as perhaps only sisters may be able to understand. And my sense of belonging, of longing to know where I came from, and finding my identity, were secured. I no longer wonder who I am or who I look like, or why I’m “like this.” I no longer wonder where I belong, or even why. My life is enhanced and fulfilled by these people. They are the missing pieces in the puzzle of my persona and my life.
Three years ago, I couldn’t believe or even imagine what was possible. Even if I could have, I would have thought it unreasonable, after living more than six decades with the void of not knowing and having convinced myself long ago that it would never happen. Now on the other side of that timeline, my viewpoint has altered tremendously and I have happily adjusted to it.
And for what seems impossible to my companion Greek Adoptees, it is my prayer that each of you will find the answers you seek, as I have been blessed to discover.
